Paint’s Blog

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hi

i think i have a badluck that day. i was hurt to the very core of my soul. i just hope i could recover from that pain coz i hate to think that my little world crumbled in front of me with my very eyes.

that day everything started wrongly…

i thought i reached out these young teens of mine, having given them love and care and shown them selfless love.

i thought if id care much of them they’ll see the beauty in me…

i thought we created camaraderie already to the point of leaving we will still have connections…

i thought we created one happy, unadultered love for each other.. like a true family..

i thought if i give them much of my time they’ll understand that id put them first before everything..

i thought that if i’ll help them all throughout, they’ll know im with them from the very start…

i thought that if i share what i have, they’ll know that its my kindness and understanding that im sharing them..

i thought that it will be us..

BUt it turned out that im mistaken.…so much for the many things im thinking..

now i do not know how will i start again.. im helpless.. i need to rethink many things.. i felt sorry for myself, inept, and inadequate..

i do not know how will i face them again, how will i hide my torn soul.. i cant pretend…

maybe, just maybe.. i just have to face them like ordinary day of my life detached from them..

they think im weakling type.. always leveling myself to reach out them,but they do not understand that its their welfare im thinking, i dont like to build walls with no foundation.. that im welcoming them in my life.. im the ever patient.. always sharing my time to listen to them… but sad to say its NOT ENOUGH…

so i cried, coz im deeply hurt to the very depth.. its been days but im still hurting.. i do not know how to recuperate.. i cant seem to find a cure.. i hope someday when ill no longer with them they’ll realize that i have been VERY GOOD to them.. its the least thing that i can offer.. its the only thing i possess..

to all the people close to my heart.. im sorry if your looking something from that i do not have.. please forgive me..

anyway i want to think of the happy memories that we shared.. its the only thing im counting of

hasta la vista.. til we meet again..

well i was just happy looking at their faces, seeing them smilling. Time passed by quickly, i didnt noticed it. Like the leaves that fall off the branches of a tree, soon they will leave. i just hope theyll grow and mature with a child’s heart.

We have more than enough memories to cherish to last me a lifetime looking bACK. sometimes we do have shortcomings but they are part of growing and creating unity. this makes us one true happy family.

i felt it in my heart that im overjoyed being part of your life. i hope i imparted little things, few words of wisdom, great affection, shown you what a selflesss love is and make a little difference..

this is it. advance merry christmas and happy new year to all.

jgv

Today is quiet an interesting day.. i got to do my chores.. i read a book by Mary Higgins then chat for sometime then proceed to my tutor. it was quiet a day..

A day where one uses her time wisely coz time is gold..

Nothing new happened.. same old day but i got hold of the computer thats an important to busy person like me.

28 july 08

My life….

i am getting younger and younger now(duh)..its the opposite, so many things to do to meet ends.. sometimes im tired… then my lovelife whch my only strength is so boring.. i lack spice.. then something happened which left me lost today.. my focus to everything vanished..i have to look for a new inspiration coz i look like a very dull doll.. something is wrong really… its work and work only… grrr….

anyway i have to reshape the way i think…

Life is so long, but a day is so short…

so treasure each day people, because today will become

yesterday.. so make the most of it…